“Santa, would you please call out her name in the voice you use to launch the deer?” I asked.
“Ho, ho, ho, of course my boy! MINDY LOU MINTYCANE!” he shouted with a hearty laugh. Her middle name was Lou? Nice. Ahem, focus Pointyshoe, focus. I had unwound the full eighteen inches, just to be sure, and as described, the skein became very light, then floated on its own, the end tugging at my hand like a reindeer tugging on the reins, anxious to be on its way. When freed, the end of the lane shot out towards the hillside. It bumped furiously against the branches piled there. The elves pulled back the boughs to find a hidden opening. That’s it, a secret back entrance into the old No. 9 mine! When the obstruction was removed, the glowing fiber unwound and created a well lit path through the maze of subterranean tunnels. We followed until we heard the distinctive sound of pick axes striking stone and saw the glow of a lantern. We stopped but the woolen lifeline continued to spool out, faster if anything. The stone striking ceased and a familiar squeaky voice hollered out from around the corner, “Who goes there?” I did a quick head count. Someone was missing.
“I’ll take it from here, my boy,” Claus calmly said, edging forward a small step at a time, the rest of us at his heels. In a reassuring tone, he called out, “Fixy lad, let’s have a little chat over hot cocoa, just like we always do back at the North Pole.” As we turned the corner, my heart jumped into my throat as I saw Mindy bound to a mine timber in the middle of the chamber, a coal dust stained Fixy Tinker looming beside her, menacingly wielding a rock hammer like a pick axe. A coal cart full of freshly mined Magic No. 9 Coal Dust, along with the missing apothecary jars from the North Pole warehouse, lined the back of the cavern.
“You stay back, all of you!” Tinker shouted angrily. It’s mine, all mine! I staked this claim and I will have total control of the Magic No. 9 Coal Dust black market!” So THAT’s why he stole our supply. But it still didn’t explain why he did it in the first place, or why he kidnapped Mindy.
As much as his irrepressible cheeriness can get on my nerves at times, I was thankful that the Claus possessed a nearly hypnotic quality to his voice that can calm even the most agitated of souls. “Why don’t you tell me what happened to take you down this path, Fixy,” Santa asked compassionately.
“I’m tired of always being the guy to fix everything for everyone else! When I found this old map to the dust deposits and the secret entrance to the mine, every time I tried to bring it to you, I got called on another job. ‘Fix this Fixy’, ‘Fix that Fixy’. Well I fixed you all! Then these nosy agents started nosing around my operation. I won’t let you ruin everything!”
“Now Fixy, you’ve always been such a good boy,” Claus said softly. “In fact, you’ve been one of my favorites, so dependable and …” as Tinker’s eyes glazed over and his arms went slack, the pick hammer slipped from his grip and I took the opportunity to spring forward, tackling Fixy to the stone floor. “Don’t hurt him Sam,” Santa gently commanded. As tempted as I was to end up on the Naughty list for life for disobeying a direct order from the Boss, I let the elf pack handle securing Tinker and leapt to free Mintycane. She threw her arms around my neck in appreciation, and before I realized what was happening, dangled a slightly crumpled sprig of mistletoe above our heads and planted a sweet pepperminty kiss on my surprised face.
